ACME plc - End of Year Results - Let’s talk the language of business
The End Of Year results for ACME plc have just been published - turnover up 23% at £3.5bn, net profit (before tax) up 26% to £524m this will result in a dividend increase to shareholders of 16% or up to £1.25 per share. CEO (Mr. B. Bunny) and CFO (Mr. D. Duck) reported that the company has shown impressive growth over the last year and the future looks bright as animated products are being more sort after in all geographical and economic areas of the world.
Majority shareholders, Lord Warner and his brothers, will share a dividend of more than £300m and have seen their net worth rise by more than 33% to over £4bn on the back of the bouyant share price.
These results will disappoint maverick shareholder Mr. P. Pig who heads up a group of investors intent on bringing the global warming problem into the boardroom. To this end Mr. Pig has published his own set of End Of Year results which show that ACME plc has increased it’s annual energy consumption by 21% whilst CO2 output has risen a stagering 28%. Interviewed this morning live on television Mr. Pig pointed out that although cartoon characters like himself, Mr. Bunny and Mr. Duck do not need oxygen to live and that if the atsmosphere of the world were entirely CO2, their lives would be pretty much unaffected , they must think of the wider issue. “The whole purpose of a cartoon character’s life is to provide entertainment for the carbon based, oxygen breathing individuals who read our stories and watch us in all sorts of media. ACME plc should remember this and consider that if they do not control CO2 output there will be no market left!”
Mr. Pig accepted that their most skilled operatives need to keep cool in their working environment and that air conditioning was a prerequisite. “Of course the cartoonists need to keep cool”he stated “but lets make ACME plc install systems that are at the very least the most energy efficient that they can find.”
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